IS FEAR AND FAILURE HOLDING YOU BACK

Here I am, one month in…….

Just in case you haven’t been following, I moved to Byron Bay from Airlie Beach one month ago. I know I know, a hard life, one perfect destination to another. That is the typical reaction I get. And while I totally understand that with this next statement I am going to expose myself to some possible, eye rolling from some people, moving here and starting in a new place is the second hardest thing I have had to do in my life. Maybe, I have been lucky and spared a lot of hardship, and for that I am grateful.

But it has really got me thinking a lot about fear and failure. Two very foreign emotions for me.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm

Pushing through fear is still a constant daily chore for me. And let me give full credit, for Jan to bear witness to this journey, I think it must feel like a 4 year war like battle.  Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of judgement. I have it all. And anyone who reads or follows successful people knows that FEAR is stifling to growth and development and FAILURE is essential to success. I know this stuff. That doesn’t mean it makes it any easier. If anything it makes it even more frustrating.

Today I was reminded again, that I am not alone in this feeling.

And from an outsider it pains me dearly to see the mental internal struggles that people are facing within themselves day in and day out. Because I know I need not remind you, that we only get ONE chance at this.

So I wanted to write and let people in on a little secret….

The only difference between the people you think have it all together, and you, is their willingness to be vulnerable. 

To acknowledge your struggles to your loved ones, to ask for help, to have someone to support you and for you to commit to yourself a daily practice that you are not going to give into fear, but acknowledge it and push through it. The truth is, you really owe it to those around you that care about you and most importantly you owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself.

Even if you have forgotten what that best version looks like. I am 300% confident they are in there, maybe buried deep but waiting patiently for you to uncover it. It won’t be comfortable but holding onto that feeling of what it will be like when you are there, should keep you moving forward.

Now let’s get this clear. Your best self is not a lighter version of yourself, a prettier version of yourself, a taller, smaller, fitter, stronger, musclier, smarter, funnier version of yourself.

The best version is YOU, unapologetically YOU. With all of your flaws, troubles, your worries, your laughter, your sadness, your fears. I cannot express to you enough, how heartbreaking it is for those who love you, to watch you become a smaller version of yourself.

There is a reason why when we watch a small child in all their innocence, your heart lights up and you cannot help but to smile. They dance in public until they see people are watching them or not, sometimes they dance more, they cry, they laugh, they say exactly what is on their mind, they’re loud, when they are tired they get cranky and need to sleep, sometimes all they need is a good hug from their parents and above all else, they need to feel LOVED. And as adults we listen to these cues almost instinctively.

Yet when it comes to ourselves we don’t listen at all. As we get older and the world teaches us to become harder, through disappointment with ourselves and others, we build up a barrier and we let fear and failure take over us. Stopping us from feeling worthy of LOVE.

Vulnerability is not for the weak, but for those brave enough to want to know happiness. Said me 🙂

I beg you. Stop living small, right now. Don’t wait for something significant or tragic to happen to make you regret all the time you have spent living in your own fear of not being good enough.

If you are totally lost and don’t know where to start, these are a list of things that can help:

• Acknowledging that fear is limiting you
• Talking to people, friends, family, loved ones. This is one of those times where alcohol is advisable. Go for a glass of wine with a girlfriend and tell her your fears (these people aren’t there to judge you, but support you, and if they do judge, I guess they weren’t really your friend).
• Clear things up in your life. If you are holding onto emotion from years ago, deal with it. Especially guilt, you have to get rid of this in order to move forward. Write a letter, see a counsellor do whatever it takes to let it go.
• Having someone in your corner, to lift you up. There is nothing wrong with needing to be told you are worthy. If you don’t have anyone, I am volunteering and putting my hand up.
• Meditation. I really like Melissa Ambrosini’s mediations.
• Spend more time doing things you LOVE, things that make you feel better. BUT don’t let that become your obsession or escape. People so often use exercise to make them feel good only to end up obsessed and in a body image war.
• Listen to motivational talks, speakers, people that really get you questioning yourself. In order to grow you need to be challenged.
• Follow people who inspire you, not who make you feel worse about yourself. Anyone thinking they need a social media overhaul?
• Don’t let yourself get caught up in your head with the negative talk, shut that sh*! down and quick
• Don’t project too far forward or into the past.Stay present.
• Be grateful for things, and don’t just say you’re grateful, actually show gratitude for things. Say thank you, send a message, give with acts of kindness
• Be kind, but actually genuinely kind. Not just to get things in return.
• Smile, laugh, have fun. Don’t take life so seriously. One day it will be just a memory.
• Remember the best things in life are free, don’t let financial woes stop you from enjoying your time – spending time in nature, with loved ones, sitting still, chatting with friends, laughter, being intimate.

Most importantly, know that someone out there, your mother, your father, your daughter, your son, your husband, your wife, your grandma, your friend & me – think  that there is something pretty freaking AMAZING about you and wishes that you saw it!

DON’T EVER FORGET IT ….. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW….

Love Chantel 

HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING? HERE’S A SUPER EASY TIP

DO YOU HAVE A SET OF BLUE-LIGHT BLOCKERS? Hopefully I am going to convince you why you should at least consider it....

Yep, this actually does happen….

STudying with the blue blockers ....

No, it’s not overly sexy.
Yes, they are oversized and take a bit to get used to. Admittedly sometimes they end up spending more time on top of my head. And No, you can’t see your orange vegetables very well on your plate, nor your highlighting if you are are using orange/yellow.

BUT they do block out blue light pretty well. Not sold yet …. I DON’T BLAME YOU, maybe just keep reading….

A bit of history

• Exposure to light in general has a profound impact on the Hypothalamic Pituitary Adrenal axis (HPA axis) (our stress hormone control tower, that influences loads of other hormones as well like thyroid and sex hormones).
• All life on Earth evolved, with this 24 hour light-dark cycle.
• For most of our evolutionary history, we lived in sync with the natural rhythms of day and night, without exposure to artificial light. And our hormones were happy and healthy.

Why does this matter?

• Well environmental light has the strongest influence on the circadian system and light exposure has been shown to shift the natural human biological clock (and hence any disruption can and will effect our hormones).
• For example, exposure to artificial light in the evening or at night can delay sleep onset, and light exposure during the day affects sleep quality and duration during the night
• Nighttime light exposure, suppresses the production of melatonin, which not only affects our sleep but also disrupts the HPA axis. Melatonin suppression has also been shown to increase the risk of cancer, impair immune function, and possibly lead type 2 diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.

Blue-light is the worst

• Short wavelength, or blue light is the most melatonin suppressive, and this is the type of light emitted from electronic devices.
• This is a big problems as 95% of Americans (and I assume around the same for Australians) report using some type of electronic device at least a few nights a week within an hour before bed. Let’s all be honest, it’s a tough habit to break!
• In addition to too much light exposure at night, most people are not getting enough exposure to light (natural light) during the day
• Outdoor light is far more intense than indoor light. Bright light exposure during the day helps to regulate cortisol levels and balance the HPA axis, which actually helps anchor your circadian rhythm so that light at night has less of an ability to shift your rhythm.

What to do?

• Make outside time a priority! The first 30 to 60 minutes of outdoor light exposure creates about 80% of the anchoring effect. So just going outside for about half and hour at lunchtime or in the morning can provide you with the majority of anchoring light you need to maintain a healthy circadian rhythm.
• Power down devices at least 2 hours before bed time – that means minimal lights, TV, electronic devices. I hear you…. you’re thinking what the hell am I going to do then? Well life did exist before… so embrace some of the old time traditions like conversation, reading, games, and maybe just maybe if your really stuck for ideas some hanky panky?
• Use candles and minimal lights leading up until bed time. Bring back the romance, nothing wrong with dinner by candle light, and let’s face it, it’s sexier than the glasses right?
• If you have to use your devices make sure you have night mode activated on your iPhone, f.lux for your MacBook (and equivalent applications for non Apple users) and wait for it….. YOUR VERY own, super sexy, night glasses for screen time. Thinking it’s only a matter of time before TV’s catch up and start making a “night mode” too.

So there you have it. Did I pull off those glasses and convince you?

If so, you can purchase them for a total of $24.00 from http://www.optimoz.com.au/products/uvex-blue-light-blockers?variant=13482833159

Love Chantel

EMPATHY – THE HIDDEN TREASURE OF COMMUNICATION

EMPATHY – THE ABILITY TO PUT YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES

I was walking home, thinking about a loved one that I was missing. I was thinking, I hope they know how very much I love them.  And I realised something, something pretty profound that honestly has taken me most of my adult life to realise.

And that is – they may not know the extent to which I love them. Because I don’t express love the way they do. This is very hurtful to me, because this person deserves to know how much I love them and whilst I try to express it, they don’t know how to receive it and vice versa.

About 5 years ago, I was at a work conference which was all about customer service.The presenter at this conference diverged and recommended a book called, The 5 Love Languages. At the time I was going through my own personal struggles so I noted it down and one day when I was feeling pretty desperate I ordered it and read it.

For those who know me well, they know this is pretty significant, I’m not a big book reader, unless it’s of the textbook variety. I actually hate to admit it, because I love writing, and language and words and I envy people who read long, juicy novels. I do long for a balmy, sun filled, tropical holiday where there is just me, the sun, my love and a juicy book. One day …

I will skip ahead to current day and spare you the details of how all that turned out but it is kind of coincidental that some years after this conference and in a different time in my life I was chatting with a friend, who I respect very much and has a beautiful relationship with his wife, and he mentioned this same book.

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The book explores the concept that we have 5 basic love languages:

1. Words of affirmation

2. Quality time

3. Physical touch

4. Acts of service

5. Giving and receiving gifts

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I am sure there is a lot more psychology behind why we are inclined to fit into these particular categories and the book probably covers this (it’s been 5 years since I read it). But what is important to realise is that most of us are a mixture of different types of languages but generally we have one or two dominant love languages.

Sounding a bit hippy, crunchy? At the time I thought so too. But now, a little older, a little wiser and maybe a little more hippyer – I actually think it’s pretty significant. Hence, why I am divulging this somewhat lengthy, possibly corny, love story with you.

My Love Languages are clear – I feel most loved through quality time and physical touch and/or words of affirmation, I crave them. Lucky for me, Jan from day one gave me an overwhelming amount of this, making me feel instantly loved.  I haven’t asked him directly what his are but intuitively I make sure I am giving plenty of words of affirmation and physical touch. So far things are working well 🙂 But maybe after he reads this, he can tell me how I am doing in filling his love meter.

For us we are definitely a strong mix of those THREE. And they flow naturally from us so it seems to work. However, like all couples when life gets busy or you are caught up in your own stuff or other people’s stuff then your expression of these things can get compromised. That’s when someone needs to recognise it and show up and start giving out more love.

Unfortunately most couples/parents/children do the opposite and actually stop giving out love because they aren’t feeling loved. This creates a sad, vicious cycles of no one feeling cared for. And really who wants that for their loved one?

Jan and I both aren’t big on giving and receiving gifts or acts of service. Although at times Jan may wish I was more expressive of my acts of service around the kitchen or laundry :).

What prompted me to share this was I recently read a blog from Melissa Ambrosini, the guru in, self love, and she mentioned the book (this was now the third time it had made its way into my life) and her positive experiences with it.

And whilst it may not save a relationship it certainly does give you some insight into the intricacies of how people express and receive love.

For example, if you are someone like me, who tends not to place as much value or express love via acts of service or giving and receiving gifts, paired upped with someone who expresses love via doing these things and also feels loved via receiving these , there is going to be a disconnect.

It is very likely that the quality time and the physical touch that I am trying so desperately to give to show my love is not getting the message across the way they need to feel loved. And this realisation, makes me cry.

But today I realised it, and I now I can try.

Love is at the heart of our being. When we give it; when we receive it; we are better humans.

Love Chantel

WHY I DISLIKE THE WORD P A L E O

Most people around me know I eat this weird “PALEO DIET”. So much so when I mentioned eating a whole “bunny” for dinner on Sunday night my work colleagues actually thought I meant a WHOLE WHITE FLUFFY BUNNY –  Talk about taking nose to tail to the next level. After we discovered I was in fact talking about the brown, cadbury variety we agreed that if I did in fact eat a whole rabbit describing it as a bunny may have been a little masochistic.

Too cute to eat!

I have eaten a Paleo-Template-Diet (really hate the word diet) for the last 4 years (pretty long diet wouldn’t you say?). I also got introduced to it prior to it becoming the most searched diet in google, associated with Crossfit or a widely publicised “thing”. Before Pete Evans, before paleo bars and paleo granola. The persons who introduced it into my life are extremely intelligent and people I trust.

Eating this way helped me significantly with my health complaints; namely skin issues, energy, mood, and body composition. Although these health improvements also came in conjunction to managing stress, exercising more smartly, prioritising sleep and having more pleasure in my life.

So I strongly suspect it wasn’t one single change from pasta to grass fed steak that paved the way to improvement but rather a combination of lifestyle factors.  Which is actually really at the essence of a good Paleo Diet.

However, over the last two years I really purposefully distanced myself from the wording “Paleo”. Reason being is it got so confusing and muddled with peoples opinion that the word conjured up so much misinformation and opinions . So I thought – hey its better to lose the label and focus on what really matters – eating anutrient dense, anti-inflammatory, real food diet that supports how MY body functions AND enjoying life and that includes sometimes eating foods that aren’t necessarily healthy but are pleasurable – and I am talking the “non paleo” kind.

This article from Chris Kresser, who is one of the most respected practitioners in his field especially when it comes to evaluating research, explores some of the most common Myths about Paleo Nutrition. He is someone I trust and value his opinion in high regard. Please READ. 

When it comes to being healthy, we are really bombarded with informations mostly from sources that don’t have our best interests at heart – so please remember to tune in and use some logic people!

1. If it comes in a bag or a box – is it fresh, real living, and going to provide you with every thing you need for life?
2. Your body requires and uses amino acids and protein to build structures inside of you – do you really think eating the most viable form of protein (animal products) is a bad idea for our long term survival?
3. We preferentially use glucose and fat for fuel, we have the ability to manufacture glucose inside us, hence it is important for survival. Low blood glucose is a bigger threat to our life than high blood sugar. Eating enough quality carbohydrates is essential to fuel our body and keep body systems working well.
4. Fat forms the core structural unit of a cell and many other important functions in the body, so eliminating a whole food group (low-fat era) may potentially cause some issues for us.
5. If you house an animal in an unnatural environment, it gets sick, depressed and usually fat. The environment and what an animal eats and is exposed to affects the quality of its produce. Pasture raised, grass fed cows have a higher amount of omega 3 fatty acid (has anti-inflammatory properties), a higher amount of Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA) a fatty acid which has recently been studied for its anti-cancer properties and higher amounts of Vitamin E, zinc, iron, phosphorus, potassium and sodium, than grain-fed meat.  So next time your butcher gets stroppy if you ask if it grass fed – tell them the reason you are asking is a cow is designed to forage and roam freely and eat grass! And that’s the type of meat you want to consume, and politely walk out the door. Note: this hasn’t ever happened to me, I find butchers to be overly friendly :). But I have heard it happens !!!! Sigh.
6. Did your Grandparents have access to baby formula, ready made pasta sauce, microwavable dinners? No. And they had better health than us.
7. Did children eat perfectly mashed “baby food” and packaged rice cereal as first foods back in the day before food intolerances existed? Did they go on to eat le-snacks, little chippies, muesli bars, pop tops, weet-bix, zoopa-doopas as a part of their staple diet? Did they have behavioural disorders?
8. Does eating quality and a variety of animal parts (meat, bones, offal), eggs, fish, seafood, vegetables, fruits, herbs, nuts and seeds, unprocessed dairy, white rice, properly prepared grains and eliminating excess sugar, packaged and processed foods, and seed oils that were originally used to make industrial products like soaps and plastic sound dangerous to you?
9. Is eating some chocolate or a piece of cake made with flour and sugar going to send your body into a spiral and cause it to breakdown or gain 5 kgs?- unlikely!

My message is – don’t get caught up in all the drama. Be self informed

Start making small changes with your nutrition that feel right to you and that makes sense to you.
That may look like cutting back on your sugar in your coffee, reducing takeaway dinner to once a week, incorporating more vegetables into your main meal or finding a local butcher.
It is these small steps that you implement daily into your life that you can sustain for the long term that will yield the greatest results overtime for your health and your families health.

Here is a super simple recipe to get you started.

Super-duper Salmon Patties

Ingredients:

1 tin of John West Wild Caught Alaskan Pink Salmon(strained)
1/2 clove of garlic (grated/crushed)
2cm of fresh ginger (grated)
2cm of fresh tumeric (grated) – you could use powdered
2 stalks of shallots (or 1/4 onion)
1 stalk of leek (cut finely)
1/2 zucchini (grated)
2 eggs (pastured raised)
1/4 cup of Gouda cheese (grated)
Salt and Pepper
1 Tbsp coconut oil for frying

Method:

1. In a large mixing bowl place the tin of salmon and mash with folk.
2. Grate garlic, turmeric, ginger, zucchini and cheese and place in bowl
3. Add finely chopped shallots and leek to the bowl.
4. Crack 2 eggs, and mix
5. Add salt and pepper. If mixture is to runny thicken with 1/2-1Tbsp of arrowroot powder, coconut flour
6. Heat coconut oil on a pan.
7. Add 1/4 cup dollops of mixture. Allow to brown on one side then flip using a spatula and fork.
8. Serve with a side of kimchi/sauerkraut and white rice.

Enjoy

Love Chantel

IS GLUTEN FREE A NEW FAD DIET

I have spent the last 3 weeks reviewing real life case studies of “Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity or NCGS” – which is typically defined as a reaction to gluten that is not autoimmune (which is the case in Celiac Disease – CD) or allergic (wheat allergy).

It is also often referred to as gluten intolerance. 

These people are producing antibodies to many different components of wheat (beta-gliadin, gamma-gliadin and omega-gliadin, glutenin, wheat germ agglutenin, gluteomorphin, deaminated gliadin), not just the one typically tested for in Celiac Disease (alpha-gliadin).

What’s more is people can react to other types of tissue transglutaminases (enzymes in the digestive tract that help breakdown the wheat compound), other than tGT-2 (which is the one tested for in Celiac), including Type 3, which is primarily found in skin, and type 6 which is primarily found in the brain and nervous system tissue.

Most people assume gluten intolerance only affects gastrointestinal symptoms but this is not the case. Gluten intolerance can affect nearly every tissue in the body, including the brain, skin, endocrine system, stomach, liver, blood vessels, smooth muscles and even the nucleus of cells. And is associated with dermatitis, psoriasis, Hashimotos hypothyroisim, peripheral neuropathy, schizophrenia, Autism Spectrum Disorder and more.

A lot of people diagnosed with NCGS or CD look to the “gluten-free” alternatives like gluten-free breads and pastas and a whole shopping isle of other processed foods made with rice, corn, tapioca, quinoa, teff etc.

The problem is there is a high chance they can be producing antibodies to these foods too. We know thatabout 50% of people with CD show signs of casein intolerance, the protein in milk. So in this case going gluten free isn’t enough.

There are many pros and cons to intolerance testing and there is only one test that I would recommend for screening for gluten intolerance and that is Array 3 from Cyrex Labs in the US (working on getting it offered here in Australia). But for now doing a gluten free challenge is still the best test for gluten intolerance. That is remove it for 30 days, then add it back in and note what happens and how you feel.

Next time you hear a story in the media about, “Wasting billions of money on gluten free” or “gluten free as a fad diet”  and “gluten in tolerance may be completely fake” – please know that these stories are completely inaccurate and irresponsible journalism.

And whilst I do agree that food manufacturers have cottoned on to “gluten-free” being the next big thing and hence are taking advantage of it by producing packaged, processed gluten free foods it doesn’t mean that Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity is not real. It is actually very real – complex – and very under diagnosed due to lack of accurate testing.

So the answer is: don’t replace gluten with gluten free crap but rather eat real foods – like quality meat, seafood, vegetable, fruit and nuts and seeds.  

Love Chantel